Current location:	Quezon City, Phil.
Current mood:	A little more...
Current music:	Heart of the Matter - India.Arie

The Begining of the End
It's been a long, hard, 10 month journey, but, right now, that 10 months seemed like a quick flash of light, over before you even think about it. And, yes, I know it wasn't always like that (ahem*physics homeworks*ahem) and that there were times that I really really did wish that the whole year was over. But then, that's how we are supposed to be, naïve, wishing for something without knowing if it was what we really wanted, and not knowing what we could have wished for instead. It's the wai it was, the was its supposed to be, the way it happened.

And now that THAT 10 months are merely a week away from ending, I'm suddenly filled with nostalga and longing, for those small moments that we really enjoyed, those small moments when everything was still allright, those small moments that felt so good, those small moment where nothing could have gone wrong, those small moments we knew we wished would have lasted forever.

But then, there are those other moments, moments we wished never happened, moments when we wish we did something else, moments we wish we didin't do anything, moment we wished would just erase itself. In those moments which exposed every little crack and blemish we had, cracks and blemishes we try to hide and deny.

In these types of posts, post where I write down the moments feelings and emotions to put them and preserve them somewhere, scared of them ever leaving me, that I usually say that, in the way it ended, I would never bother to change a thing, because it was the way it happened, and that the whole experience was all the more richer because of it. I wanted to say the same for this post, but then I realized that lying here would mean making forever a lie that I made up, and, knowing my memory, forgetting the truth. If this was supposed to be my everlasting record, might as well as set the record straight:

There is a thing I wish I could change. ONE thing I swish never happened. ONE thing I wish could have ended before everything else does.

But then, despite all, despite all the saying that say that nothing is ever too late, I do believe that it is too late. And that somehow, someway, things are fixing themselves without it. Without intervention. Nature will balance itself in time. More intervention will just screw it up.

And so, I leave things the way it is. So that when the year ends, the summer passes, and a new year begins, I hope to see something better than the way I let it be.

In a little more than 24 hours, we will sit down, pens at hand, and begin answering our last exams.

In a little more than one week, we would be in limbo, and won't see each other for some time.

In a little more than 2 months, a whole new year will begin.

But right now, it's the begining of the end.