Note: This is gonna be a very very thinly veiled sort of "metaphor" (excuse me if I used the wrong word, it might be another figure of speech) for somethings that I first tried out this year. Mind you, this post is gonna be like the Bible where you DON'T TAKE THINGS LITERALLY and that THE REAL MESSAGE IS UNDERNEATH.

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Now, after a whole year of contemplating about doing so and checking if I do have all the right cards for it, I actually tried fishing* this school year. I thought it was about time that I start. If I had any ambition of doing something along those lines and knowing other people with similar interests, then might as well as start now, early, before any real academic distraction would hinder me form doing so. And so I did.

Of course, as a beginner, I started small. Small, in the sense that I started in a pond sea that is closer to home and filled with familiar... stuff. (Hang on with me here.) And so, with a small crew, some I already knew, some I was really glad to become friends with, we went off. 

That first trip was okay, I guess. Pretty rough start. No, screw that, REALLY ROUGH START. I hated it. I hated all the little things we had to do to keep the damn boat afloat. We made it though (of course), and things were pretty smooth sailing from there. Well, or I thought it was.

I know two sayings about calms and storms, one in Filipino, one in English. The English one is the one about things being the "calm before the storm" and stuff like that. The Filipino one is about calm men, where the calmest looking men usually have the most turbulent storms inside. 

I was that Filipino saying. I looked all calm and stuff, doing everything I have to do (captain of the ship, so I can't physically show anything wrong), but deep inside I was doubting EVERYTHING. This trip, my crew, EVERYTHING, even fishing. It was a time of internal doubting and confusion. I questioned everything I've been doing, not just fishing. It sparked a whole episode of self evaluation, a shuffling of priorities, a huge change of sorts. 

It was then that I decided that this was just not gonna cut it, and that I have to leave before I waste anymore time. That if I really do wanna do things right, I better stop all these excesses and distractions and icings on the cake and just get on with it. And so I decided to abandon ship.

Of course there was opposition, something about me being captain and part of the crew. There was opposition where I expected it to come from, and, not surprisingly, no opposition where I expected it to not exist. It was eye opening actually, that small part where oppositions did not exist. I mean, I wasn't surprised, I sort of expected that to happen should I ever chose to abandon ship. But for a crew that preached unity, it was sort of out of place.

I left, of course. I was pretty decided by then that no matter what happens and what convincing they try, I will leave, and they can do nothing about it. I had to work on my life, good luck with yours, I've pushed you as far as I can without giving away to much of myself, thank you for the memories, goodbye. 

And I went back to my normal life, without fishing. Tidied up loose ends, fixed and cleaned up stuff, just to prepare myself for that big jump. The crew got the big fish in the end, cheers to them. I mean, they deserve it after everything they went through. 

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That's for Part I. Maybe I'll do Part II later.